too-much morning

I left the chilly warmth of my boy’s house this morning and was greeted by a mellow blast of sunrise. The windows of my car were clear and the air refreshed my whole body. I have been looking forward to Wednesday as the one day when I was planning to relax and do playful activities with the select few grade 8s who were not being bussed to a day filled with powder, moguls and snow pants…but….

I drive to the corner somewhat faster than I should have but about the same as every other morning. Two sleepy looking girls with dreadlocks sit on the corner of the sidewalk, their legs stretched out as far in front of them to make sure I took the corner wide but not far enough to be at any real risk. ‘Daffodil pickers,’ I thought to myself, ‘I think that starts today.’ I rounded the corner and parked, to my right, the sweet smelling bakery that, for $2 provides me with a cupful o’ mediocre but dark coffee and the best muffin in the city- to my right, a young man writhing in the middle of the road, grasping his chest, attempting to kneel…squat…stand…do somersaults…I’m really not certain. I would have liked to believe that he was trying to remove himself from the direct line of traffic but after speaking to him
‘do you need help?’ question #one. ‘do you want me to call an ambulance?’ question number2
He responded, ‘it’s my heart,’ was that a smile on his face? ‘they already called one.’… ‘it’s not working right.’
I was pretty sure that he was content right where he was.
The smile gone but still almost there, the alert voice, the very confused, malfunctioning body, the distressed companions sitting close enough to see him but not to be seen with him~ my perspective and assumptions.
I still needed my coffee and breakfast, my stomach was twisted but I turned away from him. Within moments a cyclist stopped, a motorist or 2, and soon after a lone police car. The young man was moved to the sidewalk but I observed each of the four people around him all stood about the same 2 feet away, such a strange sight to see:
A young man, rocking his body, flailing slightly, a man wearing only a cyclist’s spandex, a policeman in uniform and 2 concerned citizens, standing, looking down at him~ perplexed.
I got my goodies, slowly walked out the bakery door my eyes raised, watching, questioning, wondering if I knew him- a good look at his young, unusually serene face-nope, thank goodness. The pretty girl with the dreadlocks- her, I do know, ask me sometime and I will remind you.
My first thought was only that he was hurt, my second that he was high, I imagine that the rest of his day will be spent sedated and under hospital care, his head will hurt when he wakes up, the girls will remind him of his adventures in traffic this morning…he may laugh, tell the story to the others sharing his ward. He may wake up fully, scared straight, so to speak.
He may not have been high at all, perhaps I am the jaded citizen. Angry at this poor boy for ruining my sunny, warm fuzzy morning, later realizing that I was the uncaring passerby who really did nothing to help him.

Karma?
My car battery is dead, it was the lights …I don’t even remember turning them on?!