no cool new binders

Walking through Costco, the multinational enterprise that I embrace too blindly, *whoa-digression* and I felt a pang in my throat as I reached out to feel the cover of a milky blue, plastic binder. My first thought being that it would be time to start collecting the cherished items I would bust out the Wednesday following Labour Day. At the very last moment before I could actually appreciate the chilled plastic I paused- not this year.

Many of you may think that this is hardly something to feel sad about but I beg you to stop for just one moment and imagine. For the past seven autumn's I have perused the back to school sales and waited with heightened anticipation for the intellectual titillation I would be immersed in during to coming months. I looked forward to not working full time, being privileged enough to step away from that and fall into the world of causes, missions, opinions, development, procrastination and enlightenment.

It is similar to when I quit smoking. There are many occasions where I would have a cigarette: when I came out of a shopping mall, upon waking first thing in the morning (even in the middle of the night), after supper...lunch...a snack/with coffee and conversation etcetera etcetera. So now, I have to go through the first session of sales, lunchboxes and binders, pink gel pens and highlighters, without purchasing any.

I am a little sad, already I miss it. The history especially- I would do anything to go back to third year at Uvic. I wonder how much student loan I have to repay before I can justify grad school?!?