huh?

....I have been awake for too many hours avoiding the rain outside and I dread 3:45 when I have to actually leave my house and these fuzzy pink pajamas. My amazing blue quilt is tangled around my legs and my pillow is soft but instead of relaxed I feel
tense and nauseous,
sad
sleepy
lonely
stuck
nervous
useless
pointless
warm
weepy
empty
small
confused
busy
in love
worried
slow
misdirected
foolish
lazy
butterflies
and major discontent.
I am not accomplishing anything; I watch the world every day as I do the same things over and over without any real enthusiasm. So what happens now?