driving

My wheels are perpetually spinning yet they do not quite connect with the driving pavement beneath me. I can feel my heart is reaching wildly ahead of me, much like an ecstatic, unrestrained child and I find the grown up in me tugging her hoodie, gently restraining .
I am equally uncertain and eager to discover where I am going but I know that I must force patience where there is an extremely dwindled amount remaining. The excited chills inside me want nothing more than to hear the squeal of well-warmed tires meeting pavement, the road in front of me is cleared of oncoming traffic and annoying obstacles, and it crests at the top of a slightly sloping hill. What lies beyond that is quite clearly unknown and welcome and thrilling and terrifying and exciting and...I can hardly wait to be there/here.

help

it's my blog so I get to cry a little
I am putting this out there because while it may seem minor to other people it is throwing my world upside down.
Here's the situation:
my landlady is selling our house, I have been contemplating moving in the relatively near future anyway but at this point have no firm place lined up to go. So- we decide that Sheena is moving by the end of June. Here's what is making me miserable: a house on sale means realtors and open houses, strangers in my room and me forced to leave to suit all of them. This means that I am highly inconvenienced, my ferret is nearly permanently locked in her cage and in order to work I have to heave my laptop everywhere I go (only a big deal when you carry it for a while, then some more, & a bit more) limiting my ability to WORK yeah, the job that pays. and to top it all off I am expected to pay for a full months rent regardless of all of the shit that I will be dealing with.
It sucks so much. If anyone has any practical suggestions of ways to approach my landlady please let me know. At this point it is all I can do not to scream every time I look at her.

*sad sluree*

transitions

It is such a unique period of transition for the people in my life, including myself. A solid part inside of me is aching to get started, to launch my presence into some greater part of the world and start living. But then I pause and remember that I never ceased living. In fact, for the past 29 years I have done more living than many people twice my age. Yet here I am, wondering about my place in my world. I managed to escape the influences in my world who feel I would be best off leaving all I know and love for the sake of earning money. As spineless as I can be, I defended my right to love rather than the need to make more money ( ;) it’s not so bad).

And here I sit, a foggy, brilliant path laid out before me, unfortunately it is all on hold for reasons beyond our control. It is not unlike that wonderous circus scene in Big Fish. I can see everything, reach out and touch it, gaze into the eyes of everyone sharing my space, smell each beautiful lily- but nothing is there, nothing is vibrant and welcoming. That is what we are waiting for and it is near agony. So exciting, frightening, comforting and happy….but not yet, I can’t even count down the sleeps.

My landlady is selling our house. What really sucks about that is the noise and fuss that is involved in prepping the house for market. I suppose that is the nature of real estate. The people outside of my bedroom window are killing me. As if the noise and traffic weren’t enough. I long for the day when I will be able to comfortably sleep in, in my own comfy bed. I find it fascinating that she is investing so much into a house she won’t get to enjoy.

I wish for me today~ kisses and hugs and many smiles: this week: keep your fingers crossed for the news we need to jump back into life, I am trying to be patient but it is soooo hard!

*love and hugz* to: Princess Jessi for last weekend (t’was a wonder- thank you), James ‘cause he is getting even less sleep than I am, and Chrissie just ‘cause she’s cute and so disenchanted with the world of blogs and media as we know it.

*pluuuuuey*

Cranky grade eights this morning and my six hours of sleep is not doing either of us any favours BUT I am still glowing over the fact that I am getting paid to deal with them. Not so bad then, and I am torturing them by making them watch a movie in French- they don't speak French ;) bwah hahah

but I always believe in them...
He will not murder
The wandering warrior
Innocent, alone
~Kate

In answer to my puzzle that nobody left a guess for *drum roll*
the next line would be
1113213211
each consecutive line describes the one preceding it.

Let's try a non-mathematical one...
Mrs. Pickle has 7 children, half of them are boys. How can this be?

*squeezes* to James, how did that go, "Just deal with what you can at the moment, worry about the most pressing stuff first..." It will all come together mister.

ps. I really have to pee but I am the teacher and the teacher can't leave AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

finally!!

psstt!
I'm getting paid to be a teacher for the very first time today ;)

whoops- I forgot to remove my labret jewlery...guess who the grade eights voted the coolest teacher in the school today?!

no-one wants to take a guess at my mind-teaser from yesterday?

hodge podge-shit mix-potpourri

today I am loving a rock!

have you ever seen a wild crocus? Very different from the ones planted in local flower beds. By now, the ones above will have gone to seed, so beautiful and indescribable and unfortunately I am not in the mountains to take a picture of them now.

A warm cup of tea greeted me as I wiped the late morning dozing from eyes, somebody loves me...and he's real cute too! Tea was followed by half cinamon raisin bagel and I really sprinting walk down to Blanchard and back. My mission is to work up a bit of a sweat before I am locked into a chair for the remainder of my day- so far so good ;)

stretch your brains
What row of numbers comes next?

1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
13112221

take a guess, I will post the answer in my next entry.

ahhh

My body is almost beginning to recover from the beautiful abuse it sustained over the past 72 hours. You know that feeling where you cringe everytime you move and then you smile as you remember the events that created the condition? So good.
I think I am starting to resent myself for the amount of work I have taken on. While I am no longer preparing to teach I still seem to be locked in doors, sitting on my ass way too often. Unfortunately, I am also greedy- seems I have sold my sunshine...how pitiful does that sound?!
Beginning tomorrow, when the meetings are done I will force myself to play outside between work and work, to enjoy this amazing spring that is beaming in through my bedroom window. I am also quite resolute in making time to spin for fun again, something I have severely neglected over the past couple of months.
On that note, I am also looking forward to playing outside in the dark with an eclectic group of characters this weekend ;)
*squeezes n love* for...most everyone

one day, on this wonderful site of mine- I will have my own place for photos, unfortunately, that will require some effort and learning on my part...such a lazy girl I am. But, eventually, it will happen.
Cheers!

sunny sunday

Okay, so I know I said I was gonna be working but... the day is just too nice and the events far too pleasant not to record them this very second.
Mini-golf a driving range for the very first time Sunday morning frolicking and one blissfully missing room-mate= a great day, and it isn’t even over yet!
I am missing the season finale of Survivor to spend a rare evening with my mister but I think the payoff is pretty good.

Last night’s fondue feast couldn’t have gone over better.

We started eating around 9 and finished with chocolate and fruit around 12:30 am. The company was the only thing more delectable than the food.

I am thoroughly enjoying the fact that I don’t have to worry about lessons, unit plans, or cranky bastards hovering over my classes. I will work as I see suitable, I will eat and cuddle, play and sleep, and then maybe work some more. Life is good. I am in love and loved. My family will be here very soon and the sun is shining.

*squeezes* for Steve and Chelf (we are gonna be so great together in BRC!!!), Chrissie, Rich, Ang, James, Jessa and my mom- iluvyoulady

omigosh

Um, I am somewhat unsure what to do or where to go with this entry so, please, forgive any nonsensical ramblings that you may encounter below.

Day 5
I think it may be best to start with today and work back. 2:55 pm found me seated at a not totally un-agreeable desk chair, I paused, stared ahead, blinked long- really long, and took my first deep breath in forever. Seriously. Today was it, marks are handed in and all of my school supplies are crammed into 3 grocery bags in my back seat. For weeks, maybe months I have started each morning feeling panicked, there was always so many things to be done, people to please and children to reach. No more. I can hardly wait to see how I feel tomorrow morning. Perhaps I should emphasize that this was the last day of SEVEN YEARS of post secondary education, pretty major huh?
*fainting*

okay, she’s back *wipes brow in relief*
Day 4
One very happy high-five from my MD for having lost 11 pounds since January, this was accompanied with some assurances that this was a good way to lose it and hopefully this time it will stay gone. Those who have seen me naked ;) can attest to the fact that my weight has been kind of an amusement park ride for the last few years. Sometimes thrilling, or terrifying, often nauseating and occasionally nothing more than a big ball of cotton candy. Yay me!

Day 3
‘We will miss you Miss Wilson! Good luck Miss Wilson!’ Monday started out with a surprise waffle breakfast hosted by my homeroom class in honour of yours truly. It was awesome. The last period of the day found me shedding tears that I honestly did not know were there when my grade sevens presented me with a box full of goodies including 26 letters of reference espousing my shining teaching abilities. So very lucky I am.

Day 2
The ride home: loud music and quiet, warm fuzzies, reflection, DONUTS and Taco Bell.

Day ONE
They are all so amazing, these Costco members from Seattle that I have heard so very much about and finally, got to meet. Twice over the weekend I made notes about things I wanted to write about when I got home, I am not a little surprised to find that the same thoughts and feelings are still in the forefront of my mind. I can kinda see why one would be tickled to tickle these beautiful people. I am looking forward to my chances to do so at Black Rock City.

*squeezes* to: Elvis, Hank, Princess, Angel, Kirby, Jeff, Wil Will, BillnotDave, Steve, Timmy-Sue, mutant Beni (so cute but too skinny) and mememememememeeeeeee!

All in all, my heart is spinning, my head feels like it is filled with helium and I am loving these great big deep breaths-I’d forgotten what they feel like.